Monsterism #58

Monster: Tyrannosaurus Rex
Movie: Jurassic Park

For me, this is the best movie monster of all time. Nothing will ever beat this for me. Even with the technology they had in King Kong, which has more than ten years on this movie, the T-Rex her reigns supreme. Spinosaur Shminosaur!

Monsterism #57

Monster: The Unseen
Movie: The Room

I miss film making. Getting out there with an enthusiastic crew and making something purely for the fun of it. This was from my first film, The Room. You can watch it on Youtube down on the right hand side of this blog.

The World According to Dan aka #50 Release Date

My good friend and boss (not sure too many people can say that these days) Dan Berger has informed me that Tales #50 is due at Diamond on the 16th of Sept. which means it should be hitting the shelves that week, if not sooner (depending on how fast Brenner get it printed).

Been hyper-busy this week so sorry about the lack of updates.

Here's a monsterism:

Monster: T-Rex
Movie: Orgazmo

Now you have been scarred as I was.
Once you come to terms with the scarring, this is actually one of the most hilarious things you'll ever see/hear.

Monsterism #53

MONSTER: The Jabberwock
MOVIE: Jabberwocky

Another Gilliam favourite of mine -- actually, it probably is my favourite (outside of the Python films). It certainly isn't for everyone, but I've been watching this time and time again since I was little, as my favourite literary monster has always been the Jabberwock. This is a fantastic interpretation of the poem, starring my favourite Python actor Michael Palin. The monster is shoddy and horrendous in terms of sophisticated and believable special effects, but in the context of the film, it just works so well.

Monsterism #51

Monster: The Gingerbread Man
Movie: The Brothers Grimm

I'm a lover of just about everything Terry Gilliam, and have a huge amount of respect for him as a film maker and story teller. He and Spielberg were my (and actually still are) biggest inspirations when I was in film school. The Brothers Grimm is an odd, but fantastic little movie and a bit of a weird little monster in itself: a Gilliam studio flick. He really managed to capture the subtle horror that often accompanies all the old fairy tales, and this sequence referenced above really is rather disturbing. So, for Tokka and Greg, this is pretty close to what I've been bringing up in my sickness... sans arms, legs and facial features (although there was that one last night...).

Monsterism #50

Here's something to make up for the lack of monsterism yesterday.

Monster: Undead Guy
Movie: Lifeforce

What you see above is one of the most hilarious, though undoubtedly sophisticated puppet special effects ever put to film. It tries so hard to look real, it truly does, but in doing that, it fails on so many levels and looks ridiculous. This is from a movie called Lifeforce, which is basically a vampire movie smashed together with Alien. It's terrible, but awesome in its own awful way. It's one of those typical 80's Horror pieces that you dig up in the video store with those terrible 80's style video boxes (usually a black or blue clamshell with the sharp extra bit to the cover) where they all use exactly the same fonts and layouts for the blurbs on the back and show like two or three screenshots with thin white borders or two pieces of promo art for another couple of awful 80's horror flicks released by the same company. They tend to rip other movies off in major ways too.
Anyway, this LifeForce movie stars Steve Railsback (you read right), who was the cult favourite Duane Barry in the X-files two-parter "Duane Barry" and "Ascension" (which is pretty much what kicks the major conspiracy pushing the X-files narrative into high gear), and a rather eerily attractive woman who plays the main space vampire and never wears any clothes. I remember seeing this when I was much younger and finding it somewhat hilarious that there's a full frontal nude shot of her (I was at the age where nudity in movies was funnier than it was arousing... I do believe that this was the first time I saw a vagina on film too). Long story short, the film is insane, worth watching to relive what made 80's horror flicks so special -- no name actors who go on to become cult icons, needless gore and a good balance of surprisingly good and lovably atrocious special effects (wait until you see the woman made of blood, or the vampire man reveal his true form)!

Monsterism #49

Monster: Abe Sapien
Movie: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Thanks to my good mate Jarrod, I was able to attend a special preview screening of Hellboy II last week. I'd actually been meaning to post on this when I saw it, but time got away from me and other things came up (see post below). Anyway, it was FANTASTIC! I enjoyed it more than the first, and particularly enjoyed Abe, who was performed entirely by Doug Jones this time around. For those unaware, Doug was the physical actor behind Abe in the first movie, but was voiced by David Hyde Pierce (of Frasier). Doug seems to cop a bum rap when it comes to these movies he's in. He was really, really good as the Silver Surfer, and his voice (which can be heard in the trailer) is EXACTLY how I hear the Surfer when I read him, but no, Fox went and got Larry "I am eternally Morpheus" Fishburne to redo the voice.
Anyway, while I'm sure people will go back and forth on it for a while yet, I think Doug did a better job here, as the performance felt far more natural (probably because it was natural) and really allowed the dude to shine. Abe is a character I love too, and I think his transition to film has been perfect, as has everyone else in the Hellboy mythology.
The scene (or sequence more accurately) the above shot is taken from is fucking hilarious too!

Is It Wrong...?

I was just at the gym for the past couple of hours and noticed that every TV in there was playing the Olympics. It didn't bother me, because I just put some music on and run, or bike, or whatever, but it got me thinking, I really couldn't give a rat's arse about these Olympics. Past years I've been kind of excited, but this time around I just really couldn't care less. I know the thrill of watching these sorts of things and can totally understand and respect it, but it was just something that dawned on me before.

Oh well... how about ssssoooommmmeee......

MONSTERISM (#48)!!

Movie: Willow
Monster: Boarhound

Willow is one of those movies that seared itself into my childhood. I'm actually surprised I watched it as much as I did, given how long it was! I always loved it when the Boarhounds appeared. They used to frighten me a little because of how alarmingly fast they were and how generally hideous they were too, but I couldn't get enough of them.

Monsterism #47

Movie: The Passion of the Christ
Monster: Wall Demon

So I watched the Passion of the Christ again a few weeks ago, and had been meaning to post this along with some others earlier, but time and other things got in the way. I'm not sure how many out there saw this, or what they thought of it. I went and saw it at the movies with a friend's church group (I went to a Lutheran high school), which was an interesting experience. To me, this was a horror movie. Yeah, I kind of understand where Mel Gibson was going with it, but if you ask me, this film would not be at all out of place in the horror film section of your local blockbuster. Gorehounds would love this movie, and fans of The Exorcist might get a kick out of it too. Something that took me by surprise very early in the piece was the appearance of this demon. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from this film, outside of some blood and the retelling of Christ's crucifixion. When this thing suddenly appeared, all my expectations of this film went out the window and I realised I was watching something I was totally unprepared for. I liked what I saw. I know it's a divisive movie, but I liked it. I wouldn't watch it over and over and certainly wouldn't own it though.
Tidbit: A friend of mine went and saw this and was born again. No shit. The power of Christ compelled him...

Monsterism #46

Movie: STARSHIP TROOPERS
Monster: The Brain Bug

This movie had everything. Crazy amounts of violence, social commentary, solid characters, tits, giant alien bugs and more crazy violence. I think everyone was a little grossed out by the Brain Bug, with its suggestive mouth/orifice and brainsucker capabilities. It was also fat, veiny and slimy. But it looked very cool and deserves a place amongst the monsterisms.

Monsterism #45

Movie: Rosemary's Baby
Monster: Rosemary's Baby

I've seen this movie too many times to count. It's amazingly old, but amazingly effective too. This final scene is probably one of my all time favourite moments of any movie. The sheer horror in Mia Farrow's eyes is so utterly convincing that the fact you don't ever even see the baby is irrelevant. If someone can be THAT frightened, you know that something is horrifyingly wrong.