Thursday, February 12, 2009

Scrapped opening to "Sometimes They Come Back"

Just found this. This was the original opening to #61. It's drastically different now, so none of this actually appears in any way, shape or form in the final book. I always dig seeing stuff like this from my favourite books, so hopefully you TMNT fans will dig it...


Panel 1
Establishing shot. We’re in the main foyer/entrance area of the Department of Defense. People are scurrying about, all dressed in business suits, some in formal military uniform. It all looks extremely official. Military guards stand at all doors.
There are two focal individuals in this crowd (maybe tone these characters a lighter shade than the rest to make them stand out a little more?) The first is a rather stressed looking individual stands at the top of a flight of stairs, clutching some documents. He/She’s looking for someone amidst the swarms of DOD employees. This is BAKER
The other is a man who is walking across the floor on the lower level, near the entrance. He is talking on a phone. This is LANGSTROM.

CAP 1: The Department of Defense.

CAP 2: Arlington County, Virginia.

Panel 2
Down near Langstrom. Tilting up slightly. We can see BAKER pushing past people as he/she comes down the stairs. Baker is desperate to get to Langstrom.

BALLOON 1 (BAKER): Mr. Langstrom!

Panel 3
Langstrom has turned away from his phone conversation and is wondering what the commotion is about. Baker is rushing to catch him.

BALLOON 2 (BAKER): Mr. Langstrom!

BALLOON 3 (LANGSTROM): Baker? What’s the matter?

Panel 4
Baker, clearly distressed, from over Langstrom’s shoulder.

BALLOON 4 (BAKER): There’s been an… INCIDENT…

Panel 1
Baker is leading Langstrom through a room full of panicking researchers and DOD officials. It’s like a central command hub, very high tech, kind of like the control room from Goldeneye.

BALLOON 1 (LANGSTROM): No one was supposed to know about this! Those trucks were--

BALLOON 2 (BAKER): Unmarked, secured civilian vehicles with encrypted routes. I know. My best guess is someone inside fed them the information, which is why I’ve put all personnel with access to the Stocktronics data into detainment.

Panel 2
Baker is letting Langstrom step into another room through an automated door of thick glass. There’s a datapad lock on the door. It’s all very high tech.

BALLOON 3 (BAKER): But then again, knowing what we do about their leader’s HIDDEN TALENTS, they could have found out on their own.

Panel 3
Baker and Langstrom have approached a large monitor displaying various global surveillance readouts. A nervous looking DOD worker is at a nearby console.
This is a global information and surveillance area. The computers here are hooked up to the best satellite technology the world has ever seen.

BALLOON 4 (LANGSTROM): Are you positive it’s them?

BALLOON 5 (BAKER): We haven’t been able to confirm ID’s, and with the E.O.G. sat off the grid, we have no idea where they’re going either.

Panel 4
From the monitor, looking down at the worker, Baker and Langstrom. Maybe see if you can fit some other panicky workers in the background. No biggy if you can’t.

BALLOON 7 (LANGSTROM): Wait, did you say the Eye of God went off the grid?! How is this--?!

BALLOON 8 (BAKER): We don’t know, but before it went down, it managed to capture this, which I’d say confirms it was them…

Panel 5
Big. We are looking at an enhanced shot taken by the Eye of God Satellite (the best spy satellite currently in orbit). It’s a close picture of Razorback flipping the bird to the satellite. Somehow, this freak knew about the satellite!

CAP 2: Sonnuva--!


Panel 1
Big. Low angle. Raph is hanging from a Foot ninja who is hanging from the foot of a flying helicopter. The door on the side is open and we can see another Foot ninja holding an intricately designed Chinese urn (this ties directly into Jim Lawson’s BURNING MAN issue, so the Urn should look the same in both of these issues). We can also see the Foot Elite from Tales of the TMNT #36 (the one that was disfigured by acid at the end).
The elite is horrid mix of Two-face and the Terminator. Half of his body has been repaired via cybernetic enhancements, but the skin where the acid burned him is all twisted and scarred. His eye has also been replaced by a cybernetic one. He is brandishing a long-bladed spear.
People should look at this image and find it both humorous AND exciting at the same time.

Panel 2
Mid shot of Don, Mike and Leo on the roof of a warehouse nearby. They’re watching Raph get carried away. Leo looks serious, he wants Raph to get the Urn. Mike and Don are both watching expectantly. It’s almost like They’re putting money on how long he’ll be able to hold on. Mike looks like a kid that missed the point of a joke he just heard.

BALLOON 1 (LEO – small/whispered): C’mon Raph…

BALLOON 2 (DON): Twenty seconds.

BALLOON 3 (MIKE): Nuh-uh. Ten.

Panel 3
Cut back to the helicopter. Looking down from the Foot Elite. Raph is starting to climb up the dangling Foot ninja. They are flying over the east river, as we can see water and the edge of the docks far below.

Panel 4
Low angle. The Foot Elite is about to spear down at Raph.

Panel 5
The Elite has speared the Foot ninja Raph is climbing in the shoulder! The ninja has let go of the helicopter in pained response. Raph and the Foot ninja both have surprised expressions. The Elite is cold, as are the other Foot clansmen in the helicopter.



SFX. (the wound) CHUNK

Panel 6
Wide. Thin. Side on. Sillhouette of Raph and the wounded clansmen falling from the helicopter.

Panel 1
Establishing shot of Casey and April’s apartment block (see Tales #56 and City At War).
Casey’s truck is parked out front and is half loaded with luggage (this issue is set shortly after #56 and #59). A few people are walking about the street.

CAPTION 1 (APRIL): “…You’re kidding!”

CAPTION 2 (MIKE): “Am I kidding?”

Panel 2
NOTE: For continuity sake, it might be worth seeing how Paul draws April’s apartment, as it’s the exact same location.
Don is sitting at the table in the kitchen, looking at a newspaper as he talks. April is leaning on a nearby bench while Mike nurses Shadow in one arm while grabbing a six-pack of sodas in the other.

BALLOON 1 (DON): He’s not kidding.

BALLOON 2 (APRIL): Wow… how is he?

Panel 3
Close up of Mike at the fridge. Shadow has his mask and is innocently offering it up to him with one hand.

BALLOON 3 (MIKE): Wet. And when I think about how he and Leo

BALLOON 4 (SHADOW) (small): Hikey…?

Panel 4
Mike is now standing next to April with a bottle of beer in his hand. Still nursing Shadow. Focus mainly on April, but leave space between them for dialogue.

BALLOON 5 (APRIL): They’ve been doing that a lot lately.

BALLOON 6 (MIKE): Yeah, tell me about it.

BALLOON 7 (MIKE – joined):

Panel 1
Shot of Don, who has twisted around in his seat to speak to April and Mike (off panel).

BALLOON 1 (DON): The problem is that Leo has always been too reliant on Splinter as a fallback. If things started going really badly then he’d turn to Splinter.


~ tOkKa said...

-->> ..f7ck ..

then what % DOES appear in the final book ??

(( effin Elite !! Dammit !! Whjat a loss !! !! - - unless.. ))

Tristan Jones said...

I think I put the half-melted elite into Burning Man briefly... There are some elements of the government chasing the Razorbacks in #61 though, but they're EXTREMELY different. I have the whole Razorback story worked out in my head, I just hope Pete lets me keep going with it, and probably more importantly that Tales continues next year so it can continue (even if someone else wants to pick it up).

~ tOkKa said...

-->> ..oi .. oi oi

well things are getting stronger all the time for the book.

I guess tryin' to remain optimistic that things will improve , specifically for sales.

.. .. i'll keep doin' all i can on my side of the fence to make that happen.

I'm also prepping ( and X - ing ) my fingers for a small " thing " .

We'll see what happens.

Tryin' not to give up..

..ALL THE F9cking time.

Think people need to do the same on the book !!



Lord Nightwalker said...

Man! Awesome stuff as usual Tristan. Seriously, you should talk Pete into letting you do a TMNT novel of some sort.
I'd pick it up in a hurry.

Tristan Jones said...

Thanks NightWalker! Pete knows I'm always up for Turtles, you dudes just need to let him know you want it!